A man can only sing.

When a guy is sad about something, he can only choose to sing his emotions out. No matter how painful he is feeling, especially a heartwreck, he can't choose to cry. The only thing he could do, is to sing. For when he cries, he will feel pathetic and weak. But when he sings, it will only help him get by.

Why am I always doing this? Maybe I am thinking too much. Imagine if you like a girl and everyone in your class, tells you that this girl likes another guy, in the same class. To make matters worse, they say the guy likes the girl back.

I feel so extra in this triangle struggle. I don't have a choice anymore. In the past, when things were just between me and her, it was easy. But now, it isn't. The feeling really sucks. It feels like I have been ran over by a bus over and over again, the pain never stops. On one hand, I really like the girl, I really want to grab her hand. On the other hand, the guy is my good friend. I don't want him or her to feel depressed over this thing. I wish I could be the only one that bears the pain no matter how much I want to be with her.

I keep on lying to myself every single night. I don't like her anymore. It's just a passing feeling, However, deep down, I know it isn't true. But only by lying to myself, then I'll be able to fall asleep. Every single day, no matter what time I sleep, I can't sleep until 3 plus am in the morning. And I wake up everyday, feeling worse than hell.

I just don't know what to do anymore. If only life could be simple. If only, I didn't need to consider about other people's feelings. If only I had the courage to ask her, who does she really like. If only, I was stronger.

The reason why I didn't want to ask her is because, she feels conflicted whenever I talk to her about this. I don't want to put her through that process anymore. She only looks cute when she's crazily laughing. But when she is sad, she still looks cute but... in a bad way I guess.

I don't want her to not make the decision because she's scared that I may not want to be her friend anymore. Because, that's just not right. I am standing in between that guy and her. I feel so extra. I feel like I am wasting everybody's time.

This chapter is coming to an end, but the story goes on.

Listened to wedding dress for over a few hundred times, because that song is the only force that can make me harden my heart and tell her, I don't like you anymore, I hate you. Just go to that guy already.

Because I know, without the song, I'll cry.

When a girl cries for a guy, it doesn't mean she's missing that guy. But when a guy cries, it means he really likes that girl very much.

对不起， 这都是我的错。 是我让你受这种苦。我只想你快乐， 我不想变成你的痛苦。 我告诉自己， 我只能给你快乐。 这段日子，你给了我很多快乐的片段。我觉得已经够了。做人不要太贪心， 是时喉离开了。 我只能对你说，我真的很喜欢你。 你一定要幸福！我会永远在你的左右。。。你不用做选择了。 因为我帮你做了选择。我喜欢你。。。I am giving up even though I don't want to.